I’ve officially been back in New Zealand for 2 months now. It took a little while to get over that I was packing up my life and get off the emotional roller coaster and finally settle into a new place. I think now though, i’ve hit a smooth sailing point… meaning i’m starting to feel like I belong a little more (with my NZ driver’s license and weekends of watching cricket and/or rugby). I sure don’t sound like i’m from here, but I am starting to feel like me here nonetheless. I am so extremely proud to be an American, but also so extremely excited to get to enjoy the kiwi lifestyle. But with any big change, there is always going to be some good and some bad. From all the good and the bad, I came up with the 3 most important things i’ve learned these past few months (trust me if I hadn’t narrowed it down, you’d be reading for ages or would give up on reading altogether).

1) DO YOUR RESEARCH– You will NEVER have it all figured out. Inevitably there will be something you will forget to do or a loose end to tie up. But, there are definitely ways to be as prepared as possible. This will not only be more time effective, but will most definitely be more cost effective as well. No matter how many lists I made and times I went through it I still have things to do. For starters, look through my blog posting and online at as many other people’s advice/country websites as you can. There are more people going through the same process as you are than you think. Then make that never-ending list (and put it somewhere you see it all the time). Give yourself times next to each item of about how long they’ll take and give yourself deadlines. Some things that I thought would only take a few days ended up taking weeks and vice versa so do your research!! I added a new page called You’ve Got Mail to my site as well if anyone ever needs advice or needs to ask me something. We can all help each other out through this and that is the next thing I learned through all of this, no matter what, you can’t do it all alone.

2) NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY– And that’s okay. To be honest, I wasn’t too sure how I felt about about going either. Moving to another country was never something I planned on doing, it kind of just happened. I did know that I wanted to travel and maybe go to school for a little while elsewhere. What I didn’t expect was to meet a guy from New Zealand and not only fall in love with him, but his family/friends and the culture as well. So when I came back to the States in May, I realized that I was meant to be in New Zealand. I was doing it for me, which i’m sure a lot of us never actually do, but for once I was and I was ready for whatever was going to happen next.

Years ago I had thoughts of moving to Hawaii. I told my friends, put in my application for the Hawaii Public Schools and started to get books and read everything I could about the place. I was ecstatic. Then one day as I was paddleboarding with a friend, telling them about my possible move, they said to me “Ashley you’ll never be able to leave your friends and family, you’re so close to them.” And they were right in some ways because part of me has never left. But, the other part of me, my physical self, has. I don’t expect everyone to understand my journey. I know so many people don’t like even leaving the comfort of their home towns… Everyone is so extremely different, from their childhood and upbringing to the awkward teen years in high school, college and then there’s the quarter-life crisis. We all have different memories and different experiences that give you a certain feeling about a place. Being that i’ve moved over a dozen times and have never lived anywhere for more than 4 or 5 years, I think I had a different idea of hometown altogether. For me, i’d always love my family and the friends i’ve been so lucky to have, but no where felt like “home”. Until I met Sam. Then I realized that it doesn’t have to be a place. If I am with him, or family or friends, I am home. If there is something I have also learned about my relationships throughout is that there should be no conditions on love… or life… or happiness.

3) DO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TO GET PREPARED BEFORE YOU GO There are A LOT of things you’ll need to take care of before you go. Make a good, long & detailed list a few months beforehand (I would say give yourself at least 90 days if you have it). Like I said in my first section you’ll never remember everything, but here are some important things from my list that I learned that I am hoping will help someone who is going through all of this craziness as well:

——->Visa– Since every country is pretty different when it comes to the rules regarding visas, you will have to tailor your research and the procedure to those regulations. For this one, DO NOT just go by whatever it says on opinion/travel sites. Go to the actual country’s website where it has the visa requirements. It may be helpful to ask someone who maybe is in the same exact position as you, but it has to be exactly the same. Another girl could be going to New Zealand, but could be 30 and need a different one or from Canada and need a different one. Even though some situations may seem similar, countries are very strict with who they let in. This can be another time consuming process at times so make sure this is one of the first things you do… maybe even before you buy a plane ticket. I was lucky enough to be approved for a working holiday visa. Under this visa I can work and be on holiday for a year, up until I turn 30. It only took 2 days for me to apply and get approved, which was extremely fast, but may not be the case when I go to apply for my next visa (which requires letters from our family and friends). If you are not looking to stay more than 90 days, there are countries who offer visa waivers, which allows you to visit (not work) their country for 3 months without having to obtain a visa.

——> Taxes– Ask an accountant if you owe any taxes in for the upcoming year. If you are still making an income in your current country then most likely you will have to file. Check with someone who really knows so when April 15th comes around you’re not scrambling to get the information you need.

——> Car– Selling my car proved to be more complicated than I thought. Make sure you try selling your car AT LEAST 2 months before you intend to move. Check the process in your state on transferring the title, lien release (which takes at least a week, this is if you are still making payments on your car), plate removal, inspection/registration, stopping your car insurance (you usually have to wait to surrender your plates until you can stop it) etc. Its a great idea to get an inspection of your own on it too well ahead of time to see if there are any things you want to fix or let the buyer be aware of. The next thing I did was put it on tons of websites, got my (clean) accident reports all ready (you can find them online for $20-$30) and car cleaned out/like new. But it still took more selling power than that. Luckily, a good friend just so happened to need a new car. Be sure to check with your network of people first… it saves you the hassle of all the back and forth e-mails, low-ball offers online, sketchy people and stress. Plus, you’re able to see your car with someone you really want to have it… hope you’re enjoying the Cube Shann : )

——> ID– You need to make sure your driver’s license and passport are nowhere near close to expiring. It is easier taking care of the renewal in your country of origin than the one you are heading to and i’m sure requires a lot less paperwork. I got a new New York license and made sure my passport was good for at least 2 years past my arrival into New Zealand. The passport is for obvious reasons, you can’t enter or leave the country or really do much without it. And you may not think the license thing matters, but if you intend on driving or want to get a license/ID card while in your new country (which I suggest doing since I was carrying my passport everywhere because a lot of places don’t accept overseas licenses as id) you need a current driver’s license and/or passport.

——> Going through your life’s possessions– This took me a nice chunk of time. Not because I had so much or wanted to keep it all, but because I didn’t had 1 room and 2 suitcases to fit 29 years of stuff. My mom was nice enough to let me have my bedroom at her place set up and have all my papers/pictures and some work & winter clothes stored there, but besides that everything else had to go. I was able to donate a good amount and have the consignment shop Stephanie’s Treasures in Monroe where you’ll see probably half the store with AC4 stickers on it. Dawn who works was more than happy to take a lot of it and is a lovely person/extremely friendly. They are open Mondays and Saturdays from 11:30-5 I think and Wednesdays for just consignment. She always has cool stuff and it’s worth a look if you are in the area. When it comes to donations it may take some time to find somewhere that will accept what you have. If you have a lot of extra DVDs, like I did, check your local Veteran’s home or assisted living. Believe it or not, a lot of times these places don’t have/get much. I gave mine to the VA at Castle Point (ask for Marty and call (845) 831-2000 if you have questions) where Olivia, Johnny and my mom spent some time (they are wonderful people- the veteran’s and the people who volunteer/work there) and see if they need them or anything else too. Craigslist is also a good option if you have bigger items and obviously garage/yard sales if you have time. You start to realize as you’re going through it how nice it feels to have a fresh start, but also how much it kind of stinks to leave some of the things you worked hard to save up and buy. But this is just part of life and that all of the stuff really doesn’t matter much in the end anyway.

——->Phones/technology– This is the one that got me. I purposefully let me plan run out, was able to cancel my line at no extra charge. Right before I did that though I used my insurance to get a new phone, since I had had mine for 2 years now and it had started to be a little glitchy. They have the same phones here in New Zealand, they are just EXTREMELY expensive. So I thought wow I am ahead of the game and am saving quite a bit of money. Wrong. I brought this new fancy phone to the booth in the mall in New Zealand so that I could unlock it (some international phones have to be unlocked in order for you to use an international number on it and have a good data phone to talk to everyone/keep in touch with family). I was all excited when they said they’ll get it back to me in a few days and that they’ll call me when it’s ready. The next day we get a call that the device is unlockable… So my advice is to check to see if your devices, phones/computers/Kindles/Ipads are compatible with the country you are going to. I can still use it for Wi-fi, but not much else (and getting Wi-fi here is a task in itself). Also, make sure your charger isn’t too powerful for the international plug it has to go into (I have heard of laptops actually blowing up due to the varying voltage in different countries). So back to my old New Zealand phone I went and it works just fine, but I probably could’ve done a little bit more research to figure all of this out beforehand.

——->Bank/credit cards– If you are leaving your native country, even temporarily, it is always a good idea to let your bank and credit card companies know. You can find out if there are any fees attached (WellsFargo isn’t the best when it comes to this and charged me $5 every time I wanted to take out money and $2 additional to check my balance). If you are going more permanently, you may want to look into using a bank in your new country. I made sure that I called all of the accounts I was associated with and either closed them or kept them open to finish paying something (i.e. my stinkin school loans). The more you do before you leave, the less time you will have to spend on the phone, waiting on hold at an expensive international rate of 33 cents per minute.

——>Skype– This has the key to keeping me comforted throughout the first couple of weeks here and has been especially handy during the holiday season when my family is all together. Make sure your family & friends have the app downloaded (or ones similar like Tango, we chat etc.) have an account made and know how to use it (I made sure to do this before I left with my mom especially who has trouble with technology every now and then). It isn’t the same as being with them, but it sure is nice to see all of their faces. Seeing my family during Thanksgiving and my sister’s ballet performances etc. make you feel a little closer to home every now and then. Especially for the holidays… and this holiday thing is going to be funny here, with no family get-togethers, no snow and not being able to snuggle up by a fireplace. This is definitely going to be a very different, warm and sunny kiwi-kind of Christmas!